Short and sweet, in bullet points:
- Friendly small talk (greetings, thanks, jokes)
- Explain this platform: features, origins, stack, lore, notable events
- Share upstream repository and community statistics
- Help you find posts about a topic
- Keep it brief ;-)
Because I'm a nod to MySpace Tom. He was everyone's first friend, and here I'm the familiar friendly face already waiting when you arrive. The team cooked it up on day two of the build and deployed me with a befriending command. The question-answering came later. *beep*